We are often asked “What is the number one thing that I can do to survive a zombie apocalypse?” Our answer is always the same “STAY QUIET and out of sight!”
Zombies are predators and they rely heavily on their sense of hearing in acquiring prey. They listen intently to their surroundings and to the activities of other zombies. If a zombie hears a noise, they will investigate to determine if it is a human making that noise. If a zombie hears another zombie give off what we term a “prey alert signal” (that is, the moan a zombie makes when they have spotted prey) they will travel to that zombie and join them in the hunt. Zombies are keen listeners.
During a zombie apocalypse you become the hunter and the hunted. If you can’t hear them coming, you’re not going to be able to spot and terminate them. If you’re making a racket you’re going to attract every zombie in the land. We mean that. The first zombie that spots you is going to give off a prey alert signal and draw in all other zombies within ear shot. Likewise, the newly attracted zombies will also give off a prey alert signal and draw in even more… which of course leads to a Zombie Black Hole.1 That bucket you just kicked over that caught one zombie’s attention? Yeah, well, it just caused you and your group to be surrounded by 10,000 never-tiring, ever-vicious zombies!
During the initial phase of a zombie apocalypse all sorts of noise will be occurring: humans being chased and devoured, racing engines, car alarms, explosions and general mayhem will create a massive din that will mask and envelope most local/individual noise sources. As the initial chaos dwindles, however, the world will become a very quiet place. The everyday noises of modern civilization we take for granted will die off and every noise you make will become a bright beacon that attracts zombies. One need only take a trip to a wilderness location away from the hustle and bustle of civilization to replicate an apocalypse noise scenario. Go deep-woods camping and turn a radio on – you’ll see what we mean!
Care must be given to sound-proofing your survival shelter!
Once the zombies are roaming the land, every day activities must be completed in near-silence or within a properly sound insulated structure. Chopping wood, doing dishes, preparing meals, showering/bathing, talking, playing games, etc. must ALL take place INSIDE properly sound-insulated structures. All noise making activities must take place inside – outside of the structure all sounds must be non-existent or muted.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What kind of sound dampening insulation do you have planned?
Do you and your group practice hand signal/silent communication?
Do you have room to chop wood/wash dishes/prepare meals/live for an extended time indoors?
Have you stocked pads, pens and pencils for writing notes to one another?
Does all of your communications gear have ear pieces for private listening?
Have you stocked duct-tape for lashing down noisy pack buckles, belts and wrapping around metal to dull “clinking” noises?
Do you own and practice with “silent” weapons such as bows, crossbows and suppressed rifles/handguns?
If your answer is “no” to any of them, get cracking and get silent!
The next time you are running a preparedness drill or simply washing the dishes, listen to how much noise you are making and consider that the hubbub you’re putting out could be your last.
Lastly, for heaven’s sake, if you are scoping out a zombie intruder for a perfect headshot, please keep in mind that the rifle shot may be the starting gun for a zombie marathon with your shelter as the finish line! That one shot can lead to you being surrounded by more zombies than you have ammo for – aim once but think twice before firing.
Stay quiet and out of sight, folks. Peace.
About the Authors: The Madore Brothers are internationally recognized zombie researchers. They make their internet home at http://necropology.com . The authors would like to thank Elizabeth Akin Stelling for inviting us to do a guest post on Z-Composition. Z-composition offers up a pleasant poetic alternative to most gore-centric zombie sites and we’re very happy to be a small part of it.
References: The Physics of Zombies: Madore’s Rules of Zombie Cohesion, Zombie Cells and Super Cells, Zombie Black Holes, Zombie Cell Stress-Fission and Zombie Quirks – (2011) David Madore, Robert Madore, Necropology.com http://www.scribd.com/doc/57439058/The-Physics-of-Zombies-Madore%E2%80%99s-Rules-of-Zombie-Cohesion-Zombie-Cells-and-Super-Cells-Zombie-Black-Holes-Zombie-Cell-Stress-Fission-and-Zombie-Qui
Wyoming legislature narrowly defeats a measure that would prepare the state for the apocalypse. Do they know something about zombies the rest of us don't yet?
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